I'M A "RAGER"... this book has me figured out.

Mandy here.  The travel bug was shoved under the covers for a little while as I tried to come up with my life plan.  Still looking for a job, still trying to figure out where to live. Lotsa things going on right now. Lease is up. Again.. don't have a job.. dying to travel. Not sure what kind of job I want.. Day job, night job? 9-5 office? Night job.. serving? to make more money? School is definitely going to be thrown in the mix for this summer session or fall depending on transcripts being transferred.. so many choices.. so many options... it's overwhelming and stressful.  I have been reading this awesome book called "I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was."  I highly recommend it to everyone and anyone.  I read a really awesome chapter last night that discusses the person that "rages against the ordinary."  Nothing is ever good enough for this person.  They want immediate success, gratification.  They want shortcuts.. for some reason this person feels they are different--they want to be different.  They want to excel and they have huge ambitions.. crazy, lofty dreams.  This is a lot to copy and paste but I just have to..

If you're in a rage against the ordinary, you don't want to be a painter; you want to be the greatest painter.  You don't want to be a powerful businessperson; you want to be the most powerful businessperson.  Glory is so important to you that you're impatient with the chores and details that make life work.  You avoid anything that hints at the ordinary on your way to glory, which results in a terribly precarious existence.  You deserve a big hit, and you want it now.  You don't have time or inclination to build the foundation of skills and know-how that would actually get you a hit.
By the way, there's nothing wrong with a rager's dreams.  They're magnificent and well worth going after.  But a rager's dream comes with its particular pitfalls.  One of these pitfalls is that anything less than the top feels pointless.  Starting at the bottom, apprenticing his way to becoming a master at his craft is intolerable; a rager needs to feel he's a master before he really is-and this is a recipe for frustration and rejection.
Big, troubling feelings gnaw at a rager's insides most of the time.

The chapter is much bigger than that and really goes in great depth and detail.  Of course it discusses the various ways/reasons people become ragers.  The author even describes 3 very different main events/things that happen in childhood that cause a rager to be a rager.  Funny thing is I had all 3 things happen to me.  I could relate to all of them and felt like someone was taking the words out of my mouth and extracting the thoughts out of my mind.  It all makes sense.  I don't usually 100% buy into shrinks and what they say about your childhood having such a huge impact on how and why you are the way you are today but I think this author is dead on.  It was scary accurate and describes exactly how I feel.  I won't bore you with all the details but hopefully I'll be able to work thru my childhood issues and traumas to get my life together.  Because if you know me you know that right now I have changed my mind a million times in a million different directions.  I'm impulsive, always looking for immediate gratification. I want it now.  I don't want to be normal.  Normal isn't good enough. I want to travel, I want to have freedom. I want to be my own boss. I want I want I want. I always thought it was ambition and drive that I have (which it is) BUT it has definitely stemmed and been amplified by a few major events/happenings in my childhood.

Happy Febrauary

Jay here...can't believe it is already the second week in February.  The weather feels like summer is around the corner.  I have been working so much, have had company and am looking for new apartments..so as much as I am inspired to update you on what's been goin on...time for shift 2 of the day.  Will update soon :)

It's Never Gonna Be The Perfect Time...

Mandy here. Contemplating. As Usual..
I tried to have a relaxing day. Jay and I were able to reconnect a bit and get a much needed mani/pedi at the salon down the road from us.  I will admit I decided to copy her with the color nail polish she picked out... the girl has good taste, what can I say? Anyways we had a nice time catching up seeing as she has been outta town for a good 5 days.  Later this evening I got a massage and that was amazing.. also very relaxing to say the least.
Even in a day full of relaxing treatments I found myself uptight.  The lease is up in a month.  4 weeks from today-- it's just crazy.. I can't believe I've been living in LA for 6 months.  Anyways the point is I wanna throw... yes I said throw.. not to be confused with "organize then place" my items in storage and just GO.  I'm getting restless!
I'm very impulsive but I know the value in planning.  There's endless research to do when deciding to flee the country!!!... from reading others blogs/stories to price comparisons/deal hunting to the hot spots you just can't miss to volunteer opportunities to the logistics of getting around.. I could go on for days you get the point! Where to start? It's overwhelming and I'm someone who likes to be a perfectionist and take advantage of resources and strategic planning to maximize both savings and time but sometimes I feel like you just have to pick up and go.   I suppose there is that happy medium.. some planning... but a lot of "figuring out as you go" as well.
Also you ask yourself is it really the best time in my life? And I feel like the answer will always be yes because otherwise it will always be no.  There will ALWAYS be 100 reasons/excuses why it's not a good time to travel. But let's face it people we never know what day will be our last and everyone I have ever talked to (or just read their story) has never regretted their travels! No matter what you live, learn, and experience. Or if you are Julia Roberts you eat pray and love... either way I WANT IT!

TULUM RUINS IN MEXICO!

I took this picture last February.  It was a snowstorm in Chicago.. I left work and booked a flight that night for a week in Mexico. One of the best decisions I ever made. It was an amazing week...